To hate or denigrate our family is to hate on ourselves which has the unanticipated effect of lowering our self-confidence, creating a perception of unworthiness, and promoting illness. When we loathe our blood family for the traumas they have inflicted, we also cast ourselves out and loathe ourselves because our flesh and bones come from them. They are a part of us.
We do have a right to be upset, to be angry, to be sad, etc. and we also get to choose whether to take that frustration out on the other person and to carry that upset with us through the rest of the day and all of the interactions that we have or whether to respond to the upset from a grounded place that creates change so the situation isn’t repeated and we can release it then in the moment instead of harboring the hurt in our body. We can’t control what other people do, but we can choose how we respond to them and how we internalize the event.
In this article, I share my story of finding my way out of reactivity to understanding and the 6 key takeways that we can all use, whether in a state of meditative bliss or upset and emotionally raw, to calm down our reactivity, frustration, or anger enough to be more open and aware with others.