To hate or denigrate our family is to hate on ourselves which has the unanticipated effect of lowering our self-confidence, creating a perception of unworthiness, and promoting illness. When we loathe our blood family for the traumas they have inflicted, we also cast ourselves out and loathe ourselves because our flesh and bones come from them. They are a part of us.
Are you beating yourself up for not “doing enough”? For not getting through everything on your to-do list? Are you giving 100% while mad at yourself that your 100% doesn’t look like even more?
Grief and loss hits us so hard. It can feel like a complete dissolution of self as we navigate (or don’t) a new experience of being in the world without someone or something that greatly impacted us. All too often, we don’t grieve or don’t complete the grieving process and restore our sense of self post-change or loss and the effect can devastate our physical and emotional health. If you are dealing with a health issue that won’t lift or emotional turmoil that won’t resolve, you may have unprocessed grief holding you back.